Original Paragraph-  

Claim 1(Barclay)- This focus, although it can be narrow, takes the focus off ourselves. In “This is Water” by David Foster Wallace, former American writer and short story writer, he emphasizes our “default setting” (4) as believing we are Quotation- “the absolute centre of the universe; the realist, most vivid and important person in existence” (Wallace 2). Wallace goes on to acknowledge that this basic self centeredness is hardwired into our boards from birth (2). Explanation- We are instinctively selfish on the basis of our own innate drive to survive. Although it may be “socially repulsive” to say, it is true (Wallace 2). Transition- When we learn not to see that everyone is in your way and that your immediate needs and feelings are not what should determine the world’s priorities, we learn to put ourselves in others’ shoes, thus having empathy. Quotation(Paraphrase)- Ultimately, This empathic nature can be a spotlight with a narrow focus on who we choose to empathize with (Bloom 2). Connection- We are not the center of the universe, and there is nothing wrong with that. 

Updated Paragraph- 

Claim 1(Barclay)- This focus, although it can be narrow, takes the focus off ourselves, seeing the world through different points of view. Not In “This is Water” by David Foster Wallace, former American writer, and short story writer, he emphasizes our “default setting” (4) as believing we are Quotation- “the absolute centre of the universe; the realist, most vivid and important person in existence” (Wallace 2). Wallace goes on to acknowledge that this basic self centeredness is hardwired into our boards from birth (2). Explanation- Here Wallace believes we are instinctively selfish on the basis of our own innate drive to survive. Although it may be “socially repulsive” to say, it is true (Wallace 2). Transition- When we learn not to see that everyone is in your way and that your immediate needs and feelings are not what should determine the world’s priorities, we learn to put ourselves in others’ shoes, thus having empathy. Quotation(Paraphrase)- Ultimately, This empathic nature can be a spotlight with a narrow focus on who we choose to empathize with (Bloom 2). Connection- We are not the center of the universe, and there is nothing wrong with that. After all, the only reality we have is those we decide to share and live our lives around. 

Reflection 

– Before coming into English 110, I have had prior experience with source integration. Naturally, my writing already includes partial/embedded quotes that help get my viewpoints across while incorporating textual comparison. Partial quotes are my most preferable way of source integration. In my original Barclay paraph for Essay #2, I already included partial, paraphrased and full quotes. I did not need to add any additional textual connection, but rather a clarifying sentence in explaining more of what I believe.