Month: October 2024

Original Paragraph-  

Claim 1(Barclay)- This focus, although it can be narrow, takes the focus off ourselves. In “This is Water” by David Foster Wallace, former American writer and short story writer, he emphasizes our “default setting” (4) as believing we are Quotation- “the absolute centre of the universe; the realist, most vivid and important person in existence” (Wallace 2). Wallace goes on to acknowledge that this basic self centeredness is hardwired into our boards from birth (2). Explanation- We are instinctively selfish on the basis of our own innate drive to survive. Although it may be “socially repulsive” to say, it is true (Wallace 2). Transition- When we learn not to see that everyone is in your way and that your immediate needs and feelings are not what should determine the world’s priorities, we learn to put ourselves in others’ shoes, thus having empathy. Quotation(Paraphrase)- Ultimately, This empathic nature can be a spotlight with a narrow focus on who we choose to empathize with (Bloom 2). Connection- We are not the center of the universe, and there is nothing wrong with that. 

Updated Paragraph- 

Claim 1(Barclay)- This focus, although it can be narrow, takes the focus off ourselves, seeing the world through different points of view. Not In “This is Water” by David Foster Wallace, former American writer, and short story writer, he emphasizes our “default setting” (4) as believing we are Quotation- “the absolute centre of the universe; the realist, most vivid and important person in existence” (Wallace 2). Wallace goes on to acknowledge that this basic self centeredness is hardwired into our boards from birth (2). Explanation- Here Wallace believes we are instinctively selfish on the basis of our own innate drive to survive. Although it may be “socially repulsive” to say, it is true (Wallace 2). Transition- When we learn not to see that everyone is in your way and that your immediate needs and feelings are not what should determine the world’s priorities, we learn to put ourselves in others’ shoes, thus having empathy. Quotation(Paraphrase)- Ultimately, This empathic nature can be a spotlight with a narrow focus on who we choose to empathize with (Bloom 2). Connection- We are not the center of the universe, and there is nothing wrong with that. After all, the only reality we have is those we decide to share and live our lives around. 

Reflection 

– Before coming into English 110, I have had prior experience with source integration. Naturally, my writing already includes partial/embedded quotes that help get my viewpoints across while incorporating textual comparison. Partial quotes are my most preferable way of source integration. In my original Barclay paraph for Essay #2, I already included partial, paraphrased and full quotes. I did not need to add any additional textual connection, but rather a clarifying sentence in explaining more of what I believe. 

Claim- Having empathy allows us to break our default setting and become well adjusted to learning “how to exercise some control over how and what you think” (Wallace 2,3). Introduction-Wallace emphasizes our default setting (4) as believing we are Quotation- “the absolute centre of the universe; the realist, most vivid and important person in existence” (Wallace 2). Wallace goes on to acknowledge that this basic self centeredness is hardwired into our boards from birth (2). Explanation- We are instinctively selfish on the basis of our own innate drive to survive. Although it may be “socially repulsive” to say, it is true (Wallace 2). Transition- When we learn not to see that everyone is in your way and that your immediate needs and feelings are not what should determine the world’s priorities, we learn to put ourselves in others’ shoes. Quotation(Paraphrase)- Ultimately, This empathic nature can be a spotlight with a narrow focus on who we choose to empathize with (Bloom 2). Connection- However, having empathy in the first place removes the spotlight and narrow focus on ourselves. After all, we are not the center of the universe, and there is nothing wrong with that. 

1. In two healthy paragraphs, summarize the speech and show (with framed quotes and paraphrase from the text) what you believe to be the author’s three main points/arguments. Support with textual evidence and include your own initial response to the material.

This is not your average commencement speech. David Foster Wallace, a former American writer and short story novelist, brings a clever and deep message throughout this speech. At the very beginning and at the very end, Wallace mentions “water”. We figuratively are all living in this water of life. This water, whether we know it or not, is how we live and perceive our day to day lives. It is our journey, and when the water runs dry or we stop swimming, that is when our time here on Earth is up.

How we decide to swim and look at the water is up to us. Wallace emphasizes our default setting (4) as believing we are “the absolute centre of the universe” (Wallace 2). The world you experience is front of you, next to you, to the left or right of you, behind you, etc. (Wallace 1). When we learn not to see that everyone is in your way and that your immediate needs and feelings are not what should determine the world’s priorities, we learn to put ourselves in others’ shoes. We all have a lot on our plate, whether it be with school, work, sports, etc. Each new day for many of us can feel like same stuff different day. However, we all have a choice. We can go through the motions letting the hours pass by, getting frustrated with all the little things. Or, we can decide to change our approach. It is in our power to experience a situation such as going to the grocery story after working ten hours any way we can. We can feel annoyed at the long lines and the desire to just want to go home, or experience this “crowded, hot, slow, consumer-hell type situation as not only meaningful, but sacred” (Wallace 5). This freedom we unlock allows us to consciously decide what has meaning in our lives and what doesn’t, such as what we worship (Wallace 5). As Wallace explains, we all worship something. What we worship influences how we look at the water we are swimming in. Anything other than a spiritual based based worship “will eat you alive” (Wallace 5). Examples include money, beauty, power and intelligence. The worst thing about these kinds of worship is not that they are evil or sinful but “unconscious” (Wallace 6). We are not free in these forms or worship. The freedom in all of this, is understanding how to think, not getting caught in the constant rat race (Wallace 6). This is water

2. Do you agree with DFW’s main arguments? Why or why not? Explain.

I do agree with DFW’s main arguments. What he states in relation to our perception of our perspective has long been built into my own frame of reference. I do, like Wallace explains, get caught up at times focusing too much on my own lens in my day to day life. Reading and listening to this speech has recentered my focus on remembering his three main points about the journey(water) of life: not getting caught up with me, remembering I choose how I feel and remembering the importance of what, but specifically in my life, Who, I worship.

3. Do you believe DFW is referring to empathy, even though he never uses the word? Or is he hinting at something else?

I do believe DFW is referring to empathy in his speech. Specifically, not having a singular focus on being the center of the universe and rather seeing the world also through those around you. Thus, being able to understand and share the feelings of another person, which is the definition of empathy. 

4. Find one DFW quote that evoked a strong response. Paste the direct quote from his piece, then write a few sentences in which you challenge or support his statement.

“Everybody worships” (Wallace 5).

I whole heartedly agree that everyone worships. That is why in my opinion our society as a whole is in deep water. Money, beauty, fame, power, intelligence are all influential influences of worship I see in our world. Wallace states, “The only choice we get is what to worship” (5). This is great news as it means it is not too late to recenter our focus of worship on what matters. Personally, being Catholic, I worship our Lord Jesus Christ. This grounding in my Faith helps me to remember to have goodwill and give love to others. 

5. How do DFW’s main points interact with those of Paul Bloom (from our last reading)?

DFW’s main points are almost opposite of those of Paul Bloom. In Bloom’s essay, “Is empathy overrated”, he gives a black and white, analytical version of empathy. In Wallace’s speech, “This is Water”, he presents a more vivid emotional response to empathy. Neither point of view can be seen as correct or incorrect. That is the beauty of our perception.

1. What was your final thesis statement? Paste, then analyze its strengths & weaknesses in a focused paragraph (considering specificity, taking a stance, narrow focus, needing evidence to defend).

“All in all, we should utilize social media to a limited extent to make and maintain meaningful connections in order to prioritize meaningful face to face interactions. Overconsumption of social media may cause users to abuse their power or be vulnerable to outside influences, as well as negatively affecting cognitive growth and social skills in kids.” 

This thesis statement has come a long way from when it started. First of all, it was originally one sentence. I was previously taught in high school that my thesis can only be one sentence. It was reassuring to know it is not the case in Professor Brod’s class. Through reviewing my thesis one on one with Professor Brod, we were able to split up the thesis in a way that added more flow to my writing. My stance is clear in my thesis as well as my main claims towards my thesis. I will use what I took away from the development of this thesis immediately in my next rough draft.  

2. In a separate paragraph, describe what you learned or were reminded of about your own writing process, from completing Paper #1. 

I am a thorough writer, as I was reminded from completing Paper #1. I put a lot of info and detail into my claims. However, if this is not balanced with personal connection and references, my writing can feel lopsided as I learned from this paper. I learned to condense and consolidate the key points while integrating more personal connections. 

3. In another paragraph: Which aspect of revision did you focus on most? What changes or adjustments made your essay stronger? Be specific. 

As stated in my previous paragraph, I worked on consolidation and personal connection integration the most. This included adding more personal connections as well as developing the ones I previously had. Writing to the level that my reader can feel what I felt and see what I saw. For example, in the essay I included my experience at my sister’s wedding I just attended in Kansas City and how I was on the flight back as I was writing about it. I could have added more vivid word choice explaining my experience and relating it to one of my claims of prioritizing face to face development, and so I did. I included being over 30,000 feet in the air on the plane, the 164 people smiling, crying and cheering my sister and brother in law on, the hot and humid 90 degree midwestern heat as well as the vivid imagery of my brother getting jiggy with it on the dance floor wearing his cowboy hat.

4. How might you approach Paper #2 differently, from pre-reading and annotating, all the way through completion of your final draft? 

When it comes to writing Paper #2, I will add more personal details and connections from the get go. I still intend to be descriptive in my claims and add textual evidence to support my claim. It is simpler for me to remove unnecessary info than try to find more later on. 

1. In two healthy paragraphs, summarize the piece AND show (with framed quotes and paraphrase from the text) what you believe to be the author’s three main points/arguments. Support with textual evidence and include your own initial response to the material.

In Paul Bloom’s essay, “Is empathy overrated”, his thoughts and perspective on empathy and its effects are clearly stated. Bloom sees that the negatives of empathy outweigh the positives (4). He mentions “spotlight” seven times throughout his essay, reaffirming his beliefs of the narrow focus empathy has, and that “is the one problem” (Bloom 1).

The spotlight empathy has leads to three main concerns according to Bloom. For starters, empathy is limited to our own biases. Who we know, care and love all affect the people that we reflect empathy towards. Anyone outside the realm of our knowledge and understanding can lead to distortion in our “moral judgements in pretty much the same way that prejudice does” (Bloom 2). Furthermore, a spotlight can only shine on a couple people at a time. What we read, see and hear influences what we come to know in the world. Certain events can trigger our emotional responses, which can lead to having an empathic nature. However, certain events that in reality have brought more detrimental effects that we are not emotionally tied to will not bring out the same rapport. Continuing on, this bias on what and who we have empathy towards can sway us toward “the one over the many” (Bloom 3). Frankly, there are too many things people from around the world are going through to feel real empathy towards everyone. Thus, resulting in our prioritization of shining brightly on those we love the most, and getting dim for those “who are strange or different or frightening” (Bloom, 3). 

2. Do you agree with Bloom’s main arguments? Why or why not?

I do agree logically with Bloom’s main arguments on the narrow spotlight empathy has. However, I believe empathy still has more positives than negatives. Having empathy on a personal level can be used as a tool to grow in curiosity, understanding and compassion . The fact that Bloom barely touched on the positives of empathy, writing only one sentence over four pages, gives him less credibility in my eyes. Too one sided. 

3. In what ways does Bloom challenge your initial understanding or perception regarding empathy?

Bloom challenged my initial understanding regarding empathy by looking at the black and white version of empathy as a whole, such as emphasizing the “perverse moral mathematics” (Bloom 3) that empathy brings. What we know is what we know, and what we don’t is what we don’t. What we see in the media more often than not shows “novel and unusual events” (Bloom 3) that trigger our emotional response and get our attention. However, what we don’t see may in fact be more damaging, but doesn’t have as much of an attractive title. 

4. Find one claim Bloom makes that evoked a strong response. Paste the direct quote from his piece, then write a few sentences in which you challenge OR support his claim in your own words and experience(s).

At the end of the first paragraph, Bloom writes “Empathy is like a spotlight directing attention and aid to where it’s needed” (1). 

Who can be the judge of where empathy is needed? Everyone has needs, and many of the needs we have, others are unable to see. Here, I challenged Bloom’s word choice in relation to his own personal biases and influences to where his spotlight is. 

{Topic}The utilization of social media, especially in our youth, plays an important role in our development. {Restriction}As stated by Konnikova, the brain is incredibly plastic. The experiences we have, especially in our early childhood, are crucial in our development of parts of the brain associated with our social interactions, empathy and interpersonal concerns (7). {Illustration} Switching over to Adrian Chen’s reading, Megan Phelps-Roper had access to her church’s Twitter as early as eleven years old. Her consumption of social media at that age most definitely affected her behavior and way of thinking. Eleven year olds aren’t supposed to be filled with such hate and disgust that they talk in a live interview about hating Jews, and expressing that in her tweets. Similarly to Megan, I started using social media when I was eleven. However, I never relied or felt dependent on it for personal interactions. I was that kid in the neighborhood that got the other kids off their phones and gaming consoles to play basketball, soccer, street hockey, football, baseball. You name it, we played it. {Analysis} However, I know I would fit the exception in this day and age. As we have been told by our parents and grandparents, a lot has changed since they were kids. When was the last time you saw a group of kids playing together recreationally on your community field, pitch, court, anything? {Conclusion} Konnikova emphasizes as technology is becoming more and more accessible at younger and younger ages, “‘it’s quite conceivable that we might end up less social in the future, which would be a disaster”’ (7). It’s quite clear we already have.